Having kids has turned me into and insomniac. Even though both boys technically sleep through the night most of the time, I would venture to say a lot of nights I do not. I’m up at least once, maybe because Logan needs his paci or Connor needs “fresh water”. Or somtimes it’s because I’m hot or otherwise uncomfortable. There are a host of factors contributing to my insomnia, most of which I don’t even understand. All I know is it’s only been in the past two and a half years that this all started.

It’s 2:04 in the morning right now. I should be in bed, curled up next to Derek sleeping. But instead, I’m blogging. What’s wrong with me?! Tonight, after I got Logan settled back down, I sat in the rocking chair in the boys room and listened to Connor’s steady breathing and Logan’s rhythmic sucking. I was just overcome with love for these two little people that I had a hand in creating. Just amazing. I sat in the chair for a long time, just marveling in the miracle of my two boys. I’m reminded of a quote that I’ve read in several different places: “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” ~Elizabeth Stone That’s so true.

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There are several things that usually happen when I can’t sleep.

1) I almost always get hungry. I usually don’t eat anything because I don’t like to eat in the middle of the night. But, my stomach always growls. If I do eat, it’s always a bowl of Life cereal. That’s my favorite insomniac snack.

2) I think of really random things. Since I’ve started blogging, these random things are usually things that I think I should blog about. Tonights random musings included my all time favorite California botany (the jacaranda tree), the similarity between the words insomniac and maniac, and two new recipes I want to try, one for pork chops and one for tri-tip. Which one should I make first?

3) I start to get really irritated with myself for even being awake. That only makes it harder to go back to sleep. I start thinking about how hard it’s going to be to get up in the morning and how miserable I will be until I can catch a nap in the afternoon.

4) Things start to get a little foggy. My thoughts stop making sense. My eyes get heavy and I know that sleep will be here soon. That’s where I am right now.

Peace out.

One Reply to “Insomniac”

  1. Join the crowd! I hate to tell you this, but it only gets worse as you get older! You wake now because your kids are little. You’ll wake later because they’re teens or young adults! Then you’ll wake because you’re in menopause and having hot flashes! Thank goodness we will eventually get to rest in heaven.

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