I feel like I have nothing to say but I don’t understand how that can even be possible. Anyone who knows me knows that I like to talk. I like to talk a lot. So why is it that I can’t think of one thing interesting enough to say on here? It’s a real mystery.

I should be bursting with things to say. I hardly have any adult conversation these days. Derek is crazy busy trying to finish up the ol’ thesis. He’s been working 10-12 hours a day (which I am really trying not to complain about because I am just ready to be done with this) We both know that it’s just another month of two of life like this and it will all pay off in the end. But, some days it’s still hard. It’s hard to be with the kids by myself that long without any help or any break. It’s hard doing dinner and bath and bed and get the house picked up all alone. I don’t know how single moms do it.

There are three other moms in my apartment complex who have babies that were born within a month or two of Logan. I’ve talked to them outside and I’ve tried to be really nice and friendly since we are all at the same point in life right now-married to graduate students with kids. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve noticed the other moms all in one of their apartments together. And today, when I realized that they do this regularly, it really hurt my feelings, which is just so stupid. I mean, I barely know these people and we are leaving here very shortly, and it’s not like I’ve invited them over or anything. But still, why wasn’t I invited to their little mommy group? Are my kids horrible? Is there something wrong with me? I seriously just felt so insecure today when I saw them all in there and realized that this was a regular thing. It’s so stupid, I know. But I guess I just feel pretty lonely and stressed out lately and sure would have liked to be in there with them today.

And then it just makes me even sadder when I think about leaving here and leaving one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I’m so sad that I won’t get to hang out with Beth every week and our kids won’t grow up together. What if when we move I don’t find another friend like her? What makes it so neat too is that Derek and her husband are really close, too. Not only is it rare to find such a great friend, but it’s even harder to find one where the guys get along just as well.

As excited as I am about the next chapter in my life, the sadness of closing this one is what’s on my heart lately.

8 Replies to “Stressed”

  1. Just for reassurance…you are a super friend and fun to be around. If you weren’t invited to the other mom’s group, I’m sure it’s just because they are jealous of you! 🙂
    I can relate to how you felt though. I’ve always been pretty insecure about belonging to a group until our HG started. Then I realized I never really related to other groups. The Christian men and women in my life feel like family. I wish you guys were moving here so you could be a part of our “group”. Oh well, I know you will make life long friends on this next part of your journey.

  2. Oh Meg…I know just how you feel! I feel this way a lot in my neighborhood when I see certain people always hanging out. I’ve tried to make play dates for Alex and get to know my neighbors more, but nothing seems to work. It is frustrating! Try to focus on the good things about moving!! You’ll be able to start all over and find some new great friends!! Big hugs to you!

  3. O, Meg you make me laugh! Those other Moms are just stupid. You are way too cool to be hanging out with them. You know if you were here you could to our play group, actually you did come when you were here! You are an awesome person and great to be around! I love ya bunches and can’t wait until you live in Texas!

  4. Roomate – I thought for a second that I would post a really funny comment about how you suck and no one wants to hang out with you because your kids suck too – but then I decided that would not be funny at all! I love you and I with that you were moving to Dallas because I would promise to be your best friend and hang out with you all the time!!!!!! Please move here…please, please, please – Derek doesnt need job!!!!!! :0) Love ya!

  5. Hang in there Meg. Sometimes people are just wierd for one reason or another. They will realize what they’re missing soon enough! I hope you have a better day tomorrow!!

  6. Meg…that is just a bummer about those girls, and I have to say I would feel the same way too…I tend to get insecure about that sort of thing too…I’m lifting you up in prayer for peace of mind and JOY…don’t let them steel yours girly OK…{{{{hugs}}}}
    Also…It is hard to leave good friends, but I’m sure you will stay close with her…and I will pray for you here too.
    Loves to you,

  7. I’m sorry you’re feeling sad lately.

    But yeah, that would bum me out about the other moms too, not inviting me, but I have very thin skin and I get my feelings hurt easily.

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