I love these guys

I mean, really?   These kids are mine?  Sometimes I can hardly believe this is my life.  I love the kids so much it takes my breath away.

In some ways, today felt like the first day of summer.  Logan and Camryn are done with school.  It felt so weird to not take them to the preschool this morning.  Instead, we went to Sam’s and the grocery store.  I’ve gotten used to doing those kind of errands on my own, so it was definitely different to have 2/3 of my kids along for the ride.  By the time we got home from swim team practice at 6:30 p.m. and I was scrambling around to get dinner on the table and still get Connor to bed at a decent hour, I had that familiar “it’s summer” feeling.  It’s that tiredness that comes from being with kids all day.  It’s that feeling in my chest that feels like I might burst if I have to keep on with my “mommy” roll for much longer.  It’s the sheer exhaustion, the checking of the clock, and the nicely asking (okay, pleading) with Derek to please put the baby to bed so I can have just a moment alone at the kitchen table.

Lately, Camryn hasn’t been wanting to go to bed at night.  Who can blame her, really?  Usually her brothers, her most favorite people in the world, are still up and she knows it.  Derek and I both give her “nuddles” and sing her the bedtime song (you are my sunshine).  I lay my head down with her, and then sit for several minutes with my hand on the small of her back while she whispers toddler sweet nothings to me.  Tonight, it wasn’t working.  I had to leave to give Logan and Connor their tuck in time, and I was hopeful that she would just fuss for a moment before drifting off.  But, tonight, that was not the case.  As I was tucking in Logan, he heard her crying and wanted to go give her snuggles.  “but mom!”  he said, “I didn’t give her any hugs and kisses tonight!”  Who could resist that.  The next thing I knew, Connor had joined us and they were asking me to take a picture of them.

Be still my heart.

I love these guys so much.  And you know what?  After 10 minutes of snuggles and laughs and hugs and kisses, all three drifted off to dreamland.

Everyone needs to meet their daily quotient of snuggle time.  My thanks goes out to Logan for realizing what Camryn needed tonight was just a few more minutes loving on her brothers.