Camryn started preschool today. She’s been going to a mother’s day out program for the past 2 years, so this wasn’t the first time that she’s done the whole school thing. But somehow this morning, it just felt different. More grown up. Last night, she picked out her first day of school outfit and laid it carefully on the top of her bookshelf. This morning, she eagerly helped me make her lunch and asked me every few minutes if it was time to go yet. She cried after we took the boys to school and realized she had to wait another hour for her turn. She was so aware of what was going on and so very excited about it all.
But I really thought that when it came down to it, she would cry a little bit and cling to me when it was time to say good-bye. I was prepared for it, and had even warned her teachers about it. As we walked into the school, she wanted to be held, and she clung tightly to my neck as we walked into her classroom. But she immediately wanted down, found her cubby, put her purple blanket away, and hung her bag on her hook. She gave me a sweet little hug and kiss and marched right over to the dollhouse and started to play. She didn’t even look back at me, even though a big part of me really wanted her to.
She’s growing up.
And I’m just not sure how I feel about that. Sure, it’s a beautiful thing. It’s what’s supposed to happen. But she’s my baby. And I don’t know if I’m ready for her to be so big and independent quite yet.
I guess I better just get used to it and accept all this growing up business. Because ready or not, here it comes.