When I grow up

When I was a kid, one of the things I most looked forward to was the freedom of being a grown up. I couldn’t wait for the day that I could buy my own Lucky Charms, eat sweets at any time, drink as many Coke’s as I wanted, stay up as late as I wanted, and go to the gas station car wash

In some ways, all my grown up dreams have come true. I did buy Lucky Charms the other day. I try to keep them hidden from the kids, partly because, just like my mom, I don’t want them eating sugar for breakfast. But mostly because I love them so much and I want them all. I drink one coke or less a day, but occasionally I feel like drinking two and I do. Just this morning I had a sliver of a chocolate brownie for breakfast along with my Lucky Charms and coffee. For the past two weeks I have been staying up until midnight. I always regret it the next morning, but I do it anyway.

And that leads me to the gas station car wash.

I loved going through those as a kid, but it only happened a handful of times during my childhood. I am pretty sure my mom lost a side mirror in one of those, and plus they are sort of expensive and really don’t do as good of a job. But that didn’t squelch my love for the big, blue brush, the foamy soap, the super powered jets and dryer, and the confusion of trying to figure out if the car is moving or the brushes are moving.

Now that I am a grown up, I indulge in the gas station car wash. It’s not like I go all the time-maybe once every two months or so. Connor loves it just as much as I do. Logan, on the other hand, is not so fond of the car wash. The first time we went through, he cried some. Nothing too major, I just talked to him, rubbed his leg, and tried to keep him from getting too hysterical. The second time he went, he cried a little harder, with more “I really don’t like this” urgency. The third time-ok, I know you all are wondering why I took him through it a third time. This is over a span of the past six months. And I really thought if he just went a few more times, he would realize that nothing is going to happen. Anyway, the third time, he started crying in the line. He was hysterical. I even tried taking him out of his carseat to hold him, but that just made him even madder. It was seriously so sad, and I felt horrible that I took him through there for a third time. Now the car wash indulgence will be reserved for only Connor and I.

The other night, we went to the gas station for gas only. We decided to go to Sonic for some dinner. Sonic and the gas station are right next to each other, and you have to drive through the parking lot, right past the car wash to get to sonic. Logan started to get a little stressed, and we all assured him he weren’t going to the car wash. We pulled into our spot at Sonic, and Logan freaked out. He was absolutely hysterical and inconsolable. After several minutes, we got him calmed down and figured out that he thought we were at the car wash!

I have officially scarred kid for life.
I wonder if his car wash panic attacks will continue into adulthood, just like my car wash love spanned my lifetime.