I have a tendency to be a people pleaser. Okay, I’ll admit it. It’s more than a tendency; it runs deep in my blood. I’ll do anything to avoid confrontation and conflict. I’m a lover, not a fighter. And, for some reason I desperately need people’s approval. I don’t think this is a completely bad trait to have, but there are certainly situations where it would be good to be not so people-pleaserarific (that should be a word.)
I feel like I have overcome a great hurdle today.
About 6 weeks ago a man from a company called Growing Family came out to our apartment and took pictures of Logan. This is really a great service. They take great, professional photos right in our living room. They bring a backdrop and everything. Anywho, they offered me a free 8×10 so I could’t resist scheduling an appointment. Today, a lady named Shirley came back to have me look at the proofs and buy pictures. We did this with Connor and I was suckered into spending WAY too much money on the pictures. I told myself I wouldn’t do that this time, no matter how cute they were.
Before she started her spiel, I told her that we were not in a place where I could spend a lot of money on pictures. She laughed and pulled up the pictures on her computer. They were SO cute. So many different expressions, just really cute pictures (of course I wouldn’t expect any different since Logan is super cute, right?) She then proceeds to tell me about the different packages, ranging from $450 to $200. I’m thinking to myself “Is this your definition of not a lot of money?”. I decline the packages and tell her I’ll considering buying one 5×7. I about wet my pants when she told me that ONE 5×7 is going to be $40 with shipping and tax! Are you freaking kidding me?! I tell her no thanks, I’ll just take my free 8×10. She then proceeds to offer me three 5×7’s and 3 sets of wallets for $100, including tax and shipping. Now, that’s not too bad of a deal, but it’s still $100 we don’t have. Against my better judgement I started to consider it. She was getting a little desperate and I started to feel sorry for her. I’m sure she works on commission and here she came all the way out to my house and I’m about to stiff her. My people pleaser tendency is coming to the surface and I’m about to say yes. But wait. Why is she being so pushy? Why didn’t she offer me this first when I told her I couldn’t spend much money? Despite my feelings of guilt raging inside, I say no thank you. I just want the free picture.
After she left, I felt a little guilty. But, slowly, I realized that this was really a small victory. I didn’t need the pictures. I went in saying I wouldn’t buy them and I stuck to my guns. I am proud to say, that just for today, I was a people dis-pleaser.
Yeah Meg! I am just like you! I can’t say no. Maybe I will learn from you. It is so hard to say no when you see how cute your kid is!
Picture companies are like crack dealers. The first ones free, and then WHAMMO! Your hooked but you gotta shell out some serious dough if you want the high of seeing those cute pictures hanging on your wall.
p.s. No, “people-pleaserarific” should NOT be a word.
Hi! I just found your blog and I completely relate to you here! I am the worst people pleaser ever. I am trying to overcome it. Way to go for sticking your guns and saying no! Maybe it is in the small victories such as these that we will find the cure! 🙂