It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to

Yesterday was my birthday. The big 2-8. I woke up full of optimism for the day. I selfishly decided at the last minute to reschedule Logan’s speech evaluation for next week so he could go to school and I could do whatever I wanted for 5 whole hours. I dropped the kids off and headed to Kohl’s. I scored some cute shirts and a dress, all for 80% off. Not too shabby at all! But as I was leaving Kohl’s, I started to get lonely. I was hungry and wanted to go eat lunch somewhere good. But I didn’t want to go by myself. Unfortunately, all my Houston friends were not available for lunch…okay, truth be told, I didn’t call anyone because I felt silly. “Hey, did you remember that today was my birthday? Want to do lunch?” Yeah, not so much. So instead, I cried. I came home and cried because I wanted to go to lunch with someone. And I started thinking about how Derek wasn’t even going to be home until late that night, and I had no plans for my birthday. No special birthday dinner, no presents waiting for me on the table, no cake, nothing. So I cried some more. (Hey, I’m pregnant and I can cry about whatever I want!) I moped around for a good hour, and finally pulled myself together. I decided to go to the scrapbook store for a little more retail therapy. But, as soon as I pulled into the parking lot, I started crying again! I. Am. Out. Of. Control. I turned around and came home. I watched One Tree Hill instead. RyAnn called. I cried again. Finally, it was time to go get the boys from school. We went to the grocery store, and when I got home, I found a message from my brother. “Happy Birthday! Hope your day is awesome! Oh, and Kathy is sick and not going to work tomorrow…so…the ultrasound is off.” You see, today, my sister-in-law was going to do an ultrasound and we were hoping to find out the sex of the baby. Can you guess what I did when I got the message? Yup. I cried. Again. I managed to pull myself together for the remainder of the evening. Derek called at 6:45 and asked what I wanted for dinner. He arrived 30 minutes later, bearing yummy food and a dozen roses. Then he asked how my day was.
I cried again.
It’s really not that my birthday was bad, because it wasn’t. It’s just that I am an emotional mess. And, birthdays simply aren’t as much fun as a grown up, but I really want them to be. Am I alone is this??

On a happier note, my husband helped me record this yesterday. By my count, it’s approximately 156 bpm. Pretty amazing! (Blogliners, you have to come to the blog to listen.)

16 Replies to “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to”

  1. i am SO sorry megan. I thought of you on your birthday. you know…i think birthday’s are such a big deal and i too always wait for something big to happen and then it never does (i would have cried if i were you too…it’s not just the pregnancy!). if i were in houston i so would have gone to lunch with you and then taken you shopping and then we would have gotten ice cream and then we would have gone to a movie and then we would have had a birthday nap and then we would have had an amazing dinner, etc. i love birthdays…even when they aren’t mine. call me next year…

  2. Meg I hated reading this… I wish I was rich and I would fly to Houston and we could have a do-over. I totally agree that adult birthdays stink!

  3. I am so sorry you had such a rough day. (and no this is not a pity comment)

    I remember those days of irrational pregnancy and it is 100% OK to cry whenever you want about whatever you want to. In all honesty, I am with Laura and would have cried too, pregnant or not. Hope your birthday week goes better!

  4. oh precious prego-meg-o…
    how does this sound? next january 23rd i will be living in houston and you, me, and 2 punkin head babies will be having a fun day together!
    love you!

  5. Meg, Meg, Meg. I hate your day yesterday. I too wish I could have flown you here for some Falcones. I miss you so much and want to see you soon! I’m glad you got some roses…way to go Derek!

  6. Happy Belated Birthday! I’m sorry it wasn’t the best. I’m with you–birthdays just aren’t the same when you’re all grown up, but it’s still fun to hope that they will be. Ya gotta keep the hope alive!
    I loved listening to your baby’s heartbeat. That is amazing!…it brings back some happy memories too 🙂

  7. Oh my goodness…I know it was horrible but I can’t help but laugh because I’ve had days like that and I’m NOT pregnant!

    My birthday this year was on a Wednesday night and there was a majorly severe thunderstorm complete with hail. I was at church at praise team practice (which was cancelled but no one had told me and I had driven 30 minutes to get there). My new friend in the new singles group I had just joined invited me to watch Lost. Somewhere along our walk to cars, it came up that it was my birthday. He called the people already at the Lost party and when I got there, they had put a candle in a hostess cupcake for me. So nice, but also incredibly awkward when your birthday is right after you’ve met knew people so they try to do something but don’t know you well enough to do a big deal yet. 🙂

  8. I want to cry! We talked and you didn’t even mention it was your birthday!!! Birthdays are so super important wether you are 2 or 200. I’m sorry your birthday was not so great.
    I’m making note: JANUARY 23rd IS MEGAN’S DAY.

  9. OK, now I’m misty-eyed. Of course, I too am pregnant. I feel ya on the birthday thing, there have been several birthdays that went by & it seemed no one really “knew” or had to time to know.
    Anywho, love the heartbeat, thanks for sharing. Can’t wait to compare our bellies @ CHA in just a few short weeks!

  10. Awwww…well pooey!!! I’m so sorry your birthday was stinky!! I hope that you have a Megan weekend filled with yummy food, lots of scrapping, and lots of hugs too!!

    That heartbeat made me yearn for one more…Hmmmmm!

  11. I think you forgot to mention I talked to you 3 times and I think you cried everytime! I love ya and you know I would have taken you to lunch ina heartbeat, if I was closer!

  12. Sorry about the birthday. I was surprised that my boss forgot this year. Most other year’s I’ve gotten to work to find a sign on the door telling people it’s my b-day…so then EVERYONE would tell me happy b-day. This year…no one even knew it was “my day”. At least my family remembered me! And…Mike made me a DELICIOUS dinner!!!

  13. Bobbie,

    You know what works. Starting about 8.00 am, start calling everyone in your address book and start each conversation with “Hey! It’s Megan. It’s my birthday, so … SING.” Then let them sing the birthday song. Say “Thanks, I needed that. Talk soon. Bye.” And call the next one. By lunch time, you feel pretty good!

    Love you with

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