Today was rough. I took this picture this morning (and despite how it may look, they asked me to take it.) It pretty much sums up this day. In a word, it sucked.
Let’s just say that one of my lovely children kicked a hole in the wall during a tantrum. That’s when you know you’ve had a bad day. That was just one of many, many ugly outbursts today, and I’ll be honest, I had a handful of ugly outbursts myself. Ugh. I just want to erase this day.
Sometimes I debate whether or not I should put the crappy stuff on my blog or just keep it all happy. But then I feel fake because it sure isn’t sunshine and roses every day. I had this whole plan to blog about Camryn being a month old and post a few cute picture. I was going to leave out the part where Derek came home from work to find me in tears, locked in my room with two of the three kids while the other was banished to his room. Some of the tears were because of the kids, and some were because my pot roast was not good and the potatoes I pulled out of the fridge to cook were rotten and I felt like dinner (the first dinner I’ve cooked in forever) was ruined. And then when I have a bad day, every negative thing anyone has ever said to me runs through my mind on repeat, and as hard as I try to not believe it, and as much as I tell myself satan is just trying to get me where he knows he can by filling me with insecurity, I can’t get it to stop. I’m a bad mom. I’m failing at this. It’s my fault. People don’t like me. People don’t like my kids. And on and on it goes. The insecurity is stifling.
I wonder if it will ever go away.
(Confession: Sometimes I write blogs like this and then don’t publish them because I feel naked, and I worry about what people are going to think of me. I must be feeling brave tonight.)
Wow, it must be catching. Today sucked for me, too. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I wish I could give you a hug, but since I can’t I hope these three facts brighten your day:
1) You are a fantastic mom even on your worst day and you’re allowed to have ugly outbursts when you’re learning how to balance the demands of raising three young children.
2) Your boys are creative, smart, and kind…we all adore them.
3) You are an amazing example and make the rest of us want to try a little harder to be a little better.
P.S. How is Camryn already a month old?! Holy cow, time flies.
Meg, I get it! You are an amazing wife and mommy. I hate it when we have sucky days. I almost called you last night to whine about my day on Tuesday, but decided not to bother you with it. Looks like I should have….I could have listened to you.
I agree with everything that Chelsea said and I love you!!!
Megan – your abilty to ‘keep it real’ is what keeps me coming back. You inspire me to be a better wife, mom and even a better scrapbooker (I’m totally not to your caliber). Know that this is not the first bad day – nor will it be the last, but our desire to NOT have those days is what will make them be fewer and far between. (that is what I keep telling myself.)
You should know that our only daughter (who just turned 6) had a heart to heart with me and her dad and told us how she thinks we wake up grumpy and mad at her because we constantly tell her what to do, how to act and that we never listen to her heart! What a wake up call!
Amy Murphree
I’m glad you blogged your heart because I think we all feel that way at times. I totally agree with the first post.
And, you’re right, Satan wants you to feel down and discouraged, but just remember that every day is a new day.
I know for me when I am extra tired all of my emotions are way intensified. It sounds to me like you need to have a day of rest and pampering. BIG HUGS!!!!!
Meg, you are not alone in this. We all have days like that, we are just not brave enough to post about them. I am so glad that you did so I can be praying for you. We should all pray for each to have patience each day because I know that I need it.
I know you are a wonderful mom and I am always learning from you.
I can’t wait to see you on Tuesday so we can just have some girl time while the boys are playing.
Remember that today is a new day! It helps me to watch my boys while they sleep, they just seem so sweet when they are sleeping and I decide to like them again.
See you on Tuesday!
Meg- I cried when I read this… you are going through such a hard transition right now. Honestly I don’t know how you are doing it… 2 kids is too hard for me sometimes! I love you and your kids (even the one I have only seen in pics) You are a great wife,mom, and one of the most fun friends I have. Praying for ya!
Megan,
Ah, we all have bad days. I am glad you blog about them because it is a real glimpse into your life, not just a select piece that looks good. I had a difficult adjustment to three kids. I am doing much better now, but it was a hard start. Parenthood is full of bumps and bruises (and lots of tears), but alas, there are many joys and much laughter. Each of those make the other sweeter, for me. Thanks for being willing to share it all. I think it is an admirable trait!
Here’s to hoping your today is better than your yesterday! Love, Denise
So I totally write posts like this all the time (minus the kids of course) and then delete them. Glad to know I’m not the only one who does that!
You rock, you’re a great mom, and although I’ve never met your kids in person, I think they’re pretty much awesome all around. 🙂 And I can’t believe that Camryn is already strong enough to kick holes in the wall!! Hehe.
Megan- Even on your “bad” days…you are always a supermommy in my eyes. I hope I will be 1/2 the mom you are when my little boy makes his entrance.
Oh my goodness Megan, you have no idea how much this post has blessed me. I have my share of hard/bad/crappy days. Of course it doesn’t help being extra tired & dealing with my 4 year old going off to school (away from me for the first time, every!). When Cam came home the other night I said “welcome to my very bad, terrible, ugly-horrible day”. So it’s a relief to know that I am not the only one that has “those days” & that someone else is attacked with nearly the exact same thoughts as I am! Seriously, thank you & for the record, you are beautiful, I love hanging out with you & I know you a rockin’ good mom!
there must be something in the air because I have had a really rough week and I only have one child to deal with so I can’t even imagine. You are a wonderful Mom! I see from your next post that you are already feeling better, but I had to tell you that you aren’t alone!
Its good to keep things honest….hang in there!
I am sure (or at least I hope LOL) that every mum has horrid days! You really aren’t alone:-)
i love you my sweet fatty.